I haven't done it... I have... but because today is one of those days.
And frankly I'm just not in the mood.
WARNING... ORNERY BLOGGER WHO'S BLOWING OFF STEAM
Today is just one of those crappy, suck the life out of you til
there's nothing left, please make it stop kind of days. The kind when
the world's weight is resting completely on your shoulders and it
hurts so bad you just want to quit. Everything. It's not that
something major happened today. Rather it's that I've been carrying a
load of some sort for the last 18 months. And I guess I'm tired.
I realize many people carry loads for much longer and that their loads
are much heavier. But that fact doesn't make me any less tired or any
less wanting to quit. All that fact does is make me feel guilty for
complaining. And disgusted with myself for complaining because really
my life is not that bad.
I think of the people that went through the Nazi concentration camps.
To say they had it roughis an understatement. I think of them because
I've read various accounts of people who just tried to make it better
by having a good attitude, being grateful, and choosing their response
to it all. One gentleman was being tortured by some soldiers and
decided that he could still choose his response to it all. They could
take away every freedom but his freedom to choose his response. To
choose to be happy inspite of what was happening to him. He decided
that even though he was captive to the soldiers he still had more
freedom than they did because he didn't let anyone take away his
ability to choose his reaction. So he chose to be happy. I've tried to
emulate that example in my own life and let me tell you... that
gentleman was amazing. It is hard to not let something bad that others
are doing not bother you. It is hard to not let stress bring down your
outlook and enthusiasm. It is hard to choose a positive response when
you are completely justified by having a negative one. No one would
have thought twice if that gentleman had decided to be bitter, angry,
hurt, and resentful.
I wonder if he ever had a bad day where it all just got to him.
Sorry for the ornery-ness. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day...
That sounds how my whole week was as well. I had a SUPER teething baby combined with a SUPER sick mom and it meant endless days of drudgery and unhappiness -- and yet I felt so selfish for being unhappy (and that made me feel worse ... it's a horrible cycle). I think you're right, it's important to have examples of people who triumph when life is hard. I often think of the pioneers. And my sister-in-law Laura -- her baby girl passed away at 21 months last year and now every single time I find myself wishing to complain about my situation I'm reminded to stop and be grateful for my three children.
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